You, your child and alcohol
Children are influenced by many different factors – their friends, their teachers, TV, films the media, etc. However, in most cases, parents have the biggest influence on their children’s behaviour and this includes how the children approach alcohol.
Adolescence is a transition period between puberty and adulthood. This period of life, roughly from 10 to 20 years of age (“teenagers”), is a critical time of development on many different levels, especially on initiation and escalation of alcohol use. Because parents play an important role during child development and because there are important continuities from childhood to adolescence; it is important to disseminate research findings on what to do or what to say depending on age and gender of children.
That means that parents need to address the issue with their children, discussing the issues and agreeing some rules that the family will stick to.
For example, an investigation into substance abuse among young people found that when parental monitoring is in place – that is knowing where their kids are, and who they ’re with, they are much less likely to begin using drugs.
Another report found that in 30 out of 31 countries surveyed young people consumed significantly more alcohol when their parents did not know how they spent Saturday nights.
The resources on this site will help you to communicate with your child about alcohol and make the most of the influence over them that you have.
It is not easy to be a parent these days. Most of us need all the help we can get to raise secure, self disciplined and socially responsible children. This leaflet offers advice that demonstrates how effective parenting strategies may help.
This leaflet is produced by The Sense Group (TSG) – founded and funded by the alcohol industry in Malta – as part of its commitment to discourage illegal underage drinking. We believe that it is in everyone’s interest to help in this issue.
Let us stop under-age drinking before it starts.
What strategies can parents use?
1) Start early. The best time to talk to youngsters is between nice and eleven years of age because they are old enough to grasp complex concepts, but still young enough to listen to their parents and want to imitate the way parents behave.
2) Set a good example. Boys and girls are very careful observers. Your actions and attitudes about drinking are being communicated to them, whether you drink or not.
3) Be factual when you discuss the topic of drinking. Do not damage your credibility by using scare tactics or threats or lecturing. Know the facts and share them calmly, caringly and convincingly.
4) Set firm rules and guidelines. Let your children know where you stand when it comes to drinking. Practice good parenting through family togetherness. It creates an atmosphere of open communication, trust and respect. This helps build your child’s self esteem as an important contributing member of the family.
5) Get to know your child’s friends and their families. Be aware of the powerful influence of peer pressure. Make sure your son and daughter understand what a real friendship is all about.
6) Tell your children that real friends, do not embarrass, threaten or force you into doing thinks you do not want to or know you should not. Good friends give you the right to make your own decisions.
7) Get help promptly. If you know or suspect that your child has a drinking problem, get professional advice and assistance. Not all children or all parents are alike. This is why there is not just one way to deal with subject of drinking alcoholic beverages.
Whatever strategy you choose, remember that children take clues for their own behaviour from their parents’ behaviour.
Alcohol and Drugs
Is alcohol a drug? What can a parent answer when he or she is confronted by a child asking such a difficult question?
Parents have to make it clear that there is a distinction between alcohol and illegal drugs. Every parent needs to make that distinction. If you don’t, you may easily confuse the child or send the wrong message that responsible drinking by adults is the same as taking illegal drugs.
It is illegal in Malta for those under seventeen years of age to purchase alcoholic beverages. While there is no such thing as responsible use of illegal drugs such as ecstasy, cocaine or heroin, many Maltese adults consume alcoholic beverages, and most do so responsibly.
Another key distinction between alcoholic beverages and illegal drugs, is that several recent medical articles have reported various health benefits among adults resulting from a moderate consumption of alcoholic beverages.
It is important, however, to communicate that:
(a) the abuse of most products can be bad for you, and
(b) drinking is only O.K. for adults.
Alcohol affects adults differently than it does children. Kids should be told there are many reasons why they should not drink:
(a) their body is not mature enough to handle it; and
(b) they are not emotionally ready because their judgment skills have not matured sufficiently.
Learning Experience
It is important not to present information to your child as though you are lecturing. It is better to look for what is called “a learning moment”. An example would be if you chance to see a TV news story about drunk-driving. The parent should be able to put the situation into terms that a young child can grasp.
Experimentation with alcoholic beverages
Even if you have talked to your child about drinking, so that your child knows that underage drinking is wrong, there is always a chance that a youngster may try it anyway. If you as parents are confronted with this situation unexpectedly:
· Remain calm;
· Find out what the child has been drinking, and in what quantity;
· Carefully observe the child after the incident to make sure that are no after effects;
· Do not attempt a detailed discussion with the child right away;
· Discuss the situation when he or she is in a condition to listen.
A tough love approach is appropriate
As parents, you must show concern for the child’s safety in such a situation, and be firm at the same time. Overall, do no forget your love and concern for the child.
It is very important that the child realizes that a rule has been broken. With a firm and caring approach, the child will know that parents enforce rules out of concern for the child’s welfare.
